You Don't Look Sick

People look at someone, and think they are making up an illness or at least exaggerating it because you LOOK fine. I was harassed by a cop for parking in the handicapped section and told "You don't look sick". When I listed all that was wrong with me, he said it should be a compliment. It isn't. Even my own family, who should understand the most, apparently doesn't think there is anything REALLY wrong with me. Nevermind that I had three heart attacks. Or multiple cat scans. Or MRI's. Or blood tests. 
What they don't know or see, is that it takes me sometimes an ENTIRE DAY to make myself presentable and be able to get up and move. A makeup application that takes a normal woman an hour can take me five hours. They don't see the before, which can be horrifying. They don't see all of the color correction, primer, concealer(s), foundation, etc. The multiple layers that it takes to transform someone who looks horrifying into the picture of health.
Lupus encompasses the entire body, not just one part. Can they look at me and see that every nerve ending is in horrible pain? That my body feels like the aches you get with the flu times 1000? That my heart is diseased, my kidneys? Self-reliance and independence seem to backfire. Pride backfires. If you can do that why can't you do this? Not knowing that I will be paying for doing "that" for two days. I feel like if I were in a wheelchair a good portion of the time I would get more respect. Now if I use it, they think "oh she is playing for sympathy" when in fact, I need one a good deal of the time and when you see me use one, I have finally given in.
When I worked, occasionally I would get special consideration because of my needs. It created a TON of resentment, even though 99% of the time I pushed myself to work harder (and I did) than most people in the room. But, since I was well put together, there really musn't be anything wrong with me. They didn't see me at the end of the shift, sitting in my car for two hours because it hurt too bad to get out and go in the house.
It is like on the show House. When they show inside someone and the disease or problem is exploding and the patient has no outward symptoms. 
Have compassion. It could be that someone makes an effort to look nice to make themselves feel better. Or that they are banishing the disease behind makeup because they can't stand to look at it. Or, that they don't want you to worry. But know this, the phrase "but you don't look sick" is an insult, and not a compliment.